This post is not perfect. We hold ourselves to a very high standard, but we also want you to know that nothing or no one is perfect — and that’s okay. This is an important reminder because perfection is running rampant these days. Part of this is due to the explosion of social media in a relatively short time. As a culture, we are committing ourselves and others to some very unrealistic expectations.
Social media usage has doubled in the past 8 to 10 years, with more than 5 billion of us now embracing this online lifestyle. As a result, the fear of failure is more pervasive than ever.
The Link Between Social Media and Perfectionism
Filters, Fakes, and A.I.
We can no longer be certain that what we see online is real. Even our closest friends or co-workers are carefully curating their profiles in the style of a highlight reel. To the outside observer, it appears everyone else has figured out the secret of a happy life. Thus begins the fruitless quest for perfection.
Algorithms
The artificial intelligence algorithms that govern all social media platforms reward perceived perfection. Posts that promote unhealthy standards garner the most likes, comments, and shares. When we see this trend in action, we might feel we have to compete. This sets off a cycle of self-criticism, constant comparison, and again, the pursuit of perfection.
Reduced Face-to-Face Interactions
The more time we spend online trying to prove how perfect we are, the less time we’re out in the real world assessing real people. When social media makes up most of your socializing, you can literally lose sight of what it means to live happily and proudly, precisely as you are while in the presence of all your imperfect friends, family members, neighbors, and more!
Social Media, Perfectionism, and Anxiety
Anxiety fuels perfectionism. Anxious people fear being embarrassed or humiliated. The antidote, they might believe, is to be perfect and thus, above judgment. On social media, your “failures” are all public, and this raises the stakes. People can see how few likes you get or followers you attract. They can spend inordinate amounts of time perusing your content, searching for flash. Or so it seems.
Of course, you could opt to eschew such platforms, but that’s when the fear of missing out (FOMO) kicks in. If you don’t use social media, you feel anxiety about being an outsider. If you do set up such a profile, you get anxious at the thought of being observed. The concurrent increase in anxiety directly correlates with, you guessed it, the quest for perfection.
Getting the Help You Need and Deserve
It’s a dual track. Social media is a major factor, but the underlying factor is anxiety. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental health condition on the planet. Therefore, you’ll need to put into practice a blend of self-help and outside input in the form of therapy.
Addressing Perfectionism and Social Media Dependence
- Examine your personal expectations. Take an honest look at where you may be imposing impossible goals upon yourself and replace them with new, realistic, and self-loving standards.
- Recognize that life is uncertain. The images of perfection being presented on social media are patently false and unattainable. Focus instead on the process and find joy in the journey.
- Celebrate small steps. When you take time to acknowledge progress, you rewire your brain to recognize that each of us can define “success” on our own terms.
- Take frequent tech breaks. The allure of your devices is a double-edged sword, but nothing can replace the power of living authentic lives in the real world.
You’re not expected to figure out all the steps that need to be taken. Individual therapy can be a game changer, and I invite you to learn more.
