Imagine a workplace where the job description changes by the minute. You get no days off, no raises, and you mostly have to learn as you go. That job is parenting.
Of course, there are some awesome benefits. Still, it’s hardly news that being a parent can be stressful. After all, it’s not like you don’t also have a million other obligations — often including a “real” full-time job.
If you feel overwhelmed and anxious as a parent, you’re not alone. Fortunately, you’re also not alone when it comes to getting help. There are countless proven steps and resources available.
Possible Signs of Parental Stress
Of course, every person and every situation is unique. Even so, there are some common red flags to watch for if you suspect you’ve reached a point of parental burnout. These include:
- Sleep issues
- Extreme worry about your child and your parenting skills
- Irritability and angry outbursts
- Despite being busy all day, it seems like you never get anything done
- Physical symptoms like exhaustion, headaches, and tight muscles
Left unchecked, early signs like these can transform into a deeper problem. An overwhelmed, anxious, burnt-out parent may feel dissatisfied in their role and wish they could distance themselves from their child. This existential angst can lead to negatively judging oneself as a failure — especially when comparing oneself to the way other parents present themselves online.
What to Do When Your Child Triggers Your Anxiety
- Identify What’s Going On: When you can name the precise source of anxiety, it becomes a little easier to address it. Is it something happening in the moment, or are you feeling something being triggered from your past? Therapy is a powerful way to develop such discernment.
- Choose Mindfulness: At the moment of stress, stay present. Don’t allow your mind to stray to past regrets or future fears. Stay grounded right where you are, feel what you need to feel, and look for safe, immediate steps to take.
- Set Boundaries: As your child grows, they will test your boundaries. To maintain a healthy home, everyone can benefit from setting and enforcing strong boundaries. This is how you learn where one family member ends and another begins.
- Lead by Example: Be a role model of healthy conflict resolution. Set the standard for everyone in the family when it comes to handling challenges and problems.
A Few Ways to Soothe Parenting Stress
- Commit to Self-Care: Anxiety loses so much of its power and control when you’re taking care of yourself. Daily self-care steps build resilience while also reminding you that you are definitely worth the effort. This means healthy choices in areas like sleeping, eating, exercise, relaxation techniques, and more.
- Self-Education: Devote time to learning more about the stressors that can specifically impact parents. Identify what commonly occurs when your child is at different ages, and do the work to develop awareness and patience.
- Say No to Perfectionism: Thanks to social media, any parent can feel inept. Keep in mind that those super-parents you find online are sharing highlights — or might even just be bots. Power down your devices and set realistic expectations for you and your family.
To Repeat: You Are Not Alone
Raising a child in a healthy setting is an hourly challenge. Look for people who can serve as your support system. You need help, and you need to spend time with adults from time to time! Of utmost importance is parental counseling. Your weekly therapy sessions — in-person or online — are where you can vent, learn, strategize, and grow. Parenting is a process without a finish line, and it’s made easier with the support of a skilled professional.
