There have always been political differences. But 24/7 news cycles, social media, and AI algorithms are all relatively new. Developments like these have ramped up the passion and tension when it comes to our beliefs — and how we defend them. As a result, we’ve collectively become less tolerant of opposing viewpoints. This trend can wreak havoc on a relationship.
Sure, each partner will evolve and change over the years, but it’s typically accepted that compromise is a logical reaction. However, if political differences cause us to dig in our heels and become more emotional, this can cause undue strain. How then do we navigate such a scenario?
How Our Perceptions Are Shaped in the Digital Age
Before discussing the specifics of managing political differences, let’s provide a brief recap of what can make those differences so volatile. We live in an age when algorithms are designed to herd us into like-minded groups. Unfortunately, when scrolling, this reduces the likelihood of encountering diverse perspectives. Our beliefs are reinforced by what is essentially an echo chamber.
Such a set-up makes it all the more daunting to have our opinions challenged — especially when it’s someone very close to us. When people identify deeply with a particular “side,” they will vehemently protect that position. It’s not healthy to casually dismiss or delete random folks online. It’s much worse to allow our online identities to negatively affect our romantic connections.
Change Is Usually Normal and Healthy
The idea isn’t to meet someone, agree on everything, and remain unchanged into the happily ever after. However, if our worldviews are being pulled in dramatically different directions, this kind of change can be quite detrimental. Even so, with discernment and compassion, a couple can respectfully agree to disagree.
How to Handle Political Differences Without Straining Your Relationships
Recognize Signs in Yourself, Your Partner, or Both of You
Take a close, honest look at yourselves and see if behaviors like this are present:
- Unwillingness to deal with anyone who disagrees with you
- Seeing others are being with you or against you — no gray area
- Frequent frustration with anyone who doesn’t “get it”
- Your perspective has become increasingly negative
- Allocating more and more time to doing online “research”
Set This Goal: Finding Common Ground
When interacting with your partner, the goal is not about “winning.” With someone you love, you want to seek and find a healthy resolution. This leaves room for disagreement but reduces the odds of a confrontation. A giant step in this direction is identifying where you share common ground. It’s an excellent way to share big-picture values even when you differ on how best to serve them.
Emphasize Shared Interests
What do you like doing together? Which topics are fun to talk about? After all, one of you might be a big sports fan, but that doesn’t mean you both have to focus on this interest. The same can go for political issues. There are countless subjects to discuss. If you find some of them lead to conflicts, there’s no reason to keep going back to them.
Stay Respectful and Curious
By committing to being an active listener, you show respect for each other’s ideas. Also, you’re keeping the door open to re-think something you’ve long believed. When a political conversation takes place, by practicing self-control, you may be surprised by how enlightening it can be.
You May Need Outside Help
A cursory glance across the social media landscape is enough to show that all of the above is easier said than done. Thus, it makes sense to ask for professional support. Reach out to a therapist before things can escalate to the point of no return.
