At some point, the holiday season was all about celebrating a specific tradition with a particular group of people. Today, from wrestling for Black Friday bargains to culture wars about what’s acceptable to say or not say, a few things have gotten lost in the mix. The religious roots and seasonal joy have given way to a stressful, profit-driven experience. But even all of that can be negotiated and worked in our favor.
However, there’s an end-of-the-ritual that can put a damper on the fun like none other. Frustrating family dynamics can leave anyone counting the days until the new year arrives. How can we maintain enough holiday spirit to survive the season?
What Lays the Groundwork for Frustrating Family Dynamics During the Holidays?
- The Number Of People: Large gatherings can be overwhelming and, with each added guest, the odds of conflict increase. However, a small get-together may feel more manageable but there are also fewer options available to evade that cousin who insists on debating hot topics at the table.
- Time Constraints: It’s tough to be at your best when you have gifts to buy, flights to book, parties to attend, and all that — in a condensed period of time. Being stressed can make you less tolerant of family dynamics.
- Over-Indulgence: The holiday season very often involves overspending, over-eating, over-drinking, and more.
How to Handle Frustrating Family Dynamics During the Holidays
Acceptance
No family is functional 24/7. Hence, there’s plenty to gain by not judging your relatives as beyond the pale. Rather than trying to “fix” anyone, find a way to choose acceptance and tolerance for the amount of time that works for you.
Set Boundaries
You are not obligated to have conversations on topics that make you uncomfortable. Also, no one is entitled to the option of verbally harassing you. Thus, you can set boundaries in advance or remove yourself from the situation if need be. Holiday season or not, it’s not about making everyone happy at your own expense.
Ask For Help
It’s an interesting and common family dynamic for relatives to pretend like all is well. Everyone may cringe when a certain person attends a holiday event, but they keep it to themselves — for “the good of the family.” Imagine you spoke more openly to find out who feels as you do. Then you have a potential ally to help navigate the holiday season.
Try Something New
Traditions can be comforting, but there’s no law that says you can’t break the routine and invent new rituals. Come up with ways to celebrate the season with more joy and cooperation.
Practice Gratitude
No matter what you do from late October to early January, you can still create great new memories. Set new expectations, make room for gratitude, and watch the tension ease — even if just a little.
