The mere presence of the phrase “parenting in the modern world” might conjure up images of digital devices, widespread strife and division, and kids being bombarded with information and misinformation. Being a parent has always been challenging, but these days, it can feel like operating without a net. But it’s not all bad — and we’ll get to that soon.
Yes, technology has dramatically changed how your children communicate, learn, and even how they develop. Those screens — big and small — that demand every child’s attention have made the landscape far more complex. Today’s parents are required to be more multi-skilled and flexible than ever.
How Today’s Complex Landscape Has Affected Parenting
Modern parents are more often working longer hours and possibly more than one job. When you combine this ugly economic reality with the ever-growing influence of “being online,” kids are being raised in far different ways than ever before. On one hand, they are learning independence and self-sufficiency earlier in life, but that machine that’s seemingly glued to their palm has a dark side that cannot be downplayed.
Social media connects young people like never before. That’s the good news — and the bad news. We’re designed to interact face-to-face. It’s how we learn about communication and develop the social skills we need. Today’s kids have become so comfortable with interacting via devices that they’re developing more mental health issues than previous generations.
They are inundated with content. Much of it is not what it seems but, nonetheless, spawns insecurity, competition, and conflict. A major component of such trends — for parents and children — is humanity’s tendency to hyper-focus on negativity.
What Leads Us to Focus on the Negative?
Paying more attention to danger, fear, and stress is a survival skill. We’re hardwired to notice threats. More often than not today, such “threats” are more perception than reality. Children intensely worry about how they are perceived while parents are overwhelmed with clickbait warnings about how many risks are swirling around their offspring. A big step toward navigating today’s complex landscape as a parent involves a positive-focused outlook.
Can We Be a Positive Parent in the Age of Doom Scrolling?
Yes, but it must start with an active inner change. In the face of non-stop misinformation and fixations on disasters, you can reframe your mindset to maintain more balance. When you do so, such positive parenting has been found to help your child have better outcomes at school, grades, behaviors, and social life. In addition, being raised by a positive parent can lead to:
- Healthy coping skills
- Stronger cognition and language skills
- Better regulation of emotions
- Stronger physical health
A Few Ways to Make This Happen
- Lead by Example: It may appear they never take their eyes off their phone, but they’re still watching you. Be a role model of the traits you wish to inspire in them. It’s not about pretending all is well when times are tough. Rather, it’s offering them a counterbalance to the endless flow of questionable online content.
- Boundaries: Online life seems like it has no structure or boundaries. Set up your home to be a place where everyone understands how they fit in and what is expected of them. But don’t go overboard. What every child needs is empathy, understanding, and patience. Remember, they’re navigating new landscapes, too.
- Be Present: Learn what makes them tick. Reinforce positive behaviors. But do not be in a rush to discipline. Talk to them about their behavior and work to understand the root causes. Provide the nuance and context that’s often lacking in an increasingly black-and-white world.
All throughout history, parents and their children have been, to some degree, winging it. If modern life has you confused and overwhelmed, I invite you to reach out to talk.
